Q: Matt - Ok, someone has to ask this so it might as well be me. What's your take on the Belichick debacle?
A: It's been about four weeks since the "Belichick debacle" as you called it, and frankly I'm more stumped now that I was when I was sitting in stunned silence alone on my couch watching my Patriots blow a game in the fourth quarter. I knew that something bad was going to happen when the Patriots turned the ball over in the red zone in the second and third quarters. You can't just give away points in the NFL, and especially not against a talented and driven quarterback like Peyton Manning. But it wasn't until the Patriots had the ball deep in their own zone and had to drive out to secure the win that I became truly nervous. The Patriots ran three plays and ended up with a 4th and 2 on their own 28 yard line. They went for it, they failed. That decision was subsequently debated on sports talk radio, the Internet, and in offices everywhere.
At the time I thought that it was a foolish decision. Better to punt in that case and make Peyton Manning march down the field. Then I remembered how Peyton Manning was giving the Patriots' defense the business. Maybe it was the right call to go for it, especially since there was only a couple of minutes left on the clock. Just get the first down and run the clock out. It was risky, and as it turns out too risky.
Oddly this scenario repeated itself in Week 12 against the Saints and then again Week 13 against the Dolphins. All three games featured 4th-and-something calls that ended up going poorly for my Patriots. In the Saints game that didn't really matter since the Saints were able to dissect the Patriots' secondary like a high school student dissecting a frog. And it was that dissection that gave me some clarity to the situation. When Belichick went for it during the Colts game one of the theories at the time was that he didn't trust his defense. Since this has now happened in subsequent games I think this might be close to the truth. I think the Patriots are weak on defense, that Belichick knows it, and that he has been leaning on his offense to make up the difference.
So that's my take on it. I'm not feeling that great about the rest of my Patriots' season. I think we'll win the AFC East pretty easily but as for farther ambitions in the playoffs I don't think we have what it takes this year.
Q: Bill - Fixed or variable price option this winter?
A: I admit that I haven't thought at all about my RG&E bill in quite some time. As it turns out it doesn't matter because as your wife correctly pointed out:
Lisa: Bill, fixed is no longer an option if you stay with RG&E
A smart woman, that Lisa. You were right to marry her, Bill.
Q: Rani - I just found out that there will be a Lobo (DC comics) movie, and am thrilled, but read it's trying to get rated PG-13, by Guy Ritchie who directed Lock, Stock, and Two Smokin' Barrels and Snatch. Will this movie get ruined, if the rating sticks?
Lobo is generally a DC equivalent of Deadpool (Marvel) didn't really find a good link to describe, so found this as clean of a reference as possibly (work safe) http://nativeberlin.net/cms/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/lobo-christmas-special.jpg
If either unknown to you (somehow), use the Guy Ritchie as a reference, and what would happen if he made a PG-13 movie, to my knowledge all of his movies are generally violent
A: I happen to be a fan of Guy Ritchie. In fact, the only reason I will go see the new Sherlock Holmes movie is that he is the director. The next movie that he is officially attached to is called Gamekeeper, but various websites report that he is going to begin production of Lobo sometime in early 2010.
I didn't know anything about the comic character in question prior to your question, and based on the little I've read it sounds like his story is pretty violent. Given that I would say that a PG-13 rating might ruin the movie if the director is not careful. Knowing what the rules are will presumably allow him to craft the story within those rules. Yes, this constricts the creative mind, but he's going into this with eyes open. So my answer is a definite maybe.
Q: Kristian - In regards to Bud Selig not having a spine, I mean that he doesn't enforce anything. Why is he such a pansy?
A: Bud Selig, like the commissioners of all the other major sports, has a fine line to walk in his job. There are many competing interests in baseball and not all of them have the same bottom line:
- Television: Getting the most viewers who will buy the most products from their advertisers and generate the most revenue.
- Teams: Acquiring the best players to give themselves the best chance at making the playoffs and winning the World Series.
- Owners: To maximize the amount of money that they make
- Fans: To be entertained, to get value for their entertainment dollar, and to root for a team.
- Players: Both to make money and to play for a team that will make the playoffs and win the World Series.
I think that these interests are always in the front of Bud Selig's mind. Therefore when an issue arises in baseball (steroids, instant replay, etc.) he must run it through each of those filters before he can decide what to do. This can lead to all sorts of confusing results and outcomes. I also think this is why it seems like he has no spine. He is reluctant to upset the status quo or to offend any of those interests. I sympathize, but he is also the head of a major sport and thus must sometimes make tough decisions. I'd rather he own up to his responsibilities and make those decisions with less regard for the interests in question.
Q: Kristian - Best Winter Olympics sport?
A: As has become tradition with Ask Mitssob the Jolinko community has weighed in on this subject and so I'll give them the first word:
Jon: your mom
Brett: Biathlon. Next question.
Bill: No way, biathalon takes too long.
Eric: skis+shotguns=win
Brett: You meant rifles.
Eric: them too
Matt: Actually, I think that could make things a lot more exciting. Instead of a regular shotgun competition where you stand in one place and shoot at moving targets, have the targets stationary and have the shooter moving, i.e. skiing and shooting at the same time.
chris: extreme downhill biathlon?
Phil: shit just add shotguns or rifles to all winter sports, imagine curling with shotguns or speedskating with snipers on the roof
Kristian: Phil, I'm liking your ideas. You sould bring them up to the Olympic Committee
First, I'd like to say what a great idea adding guns to Olympic Events is. The possibilities boggle the mind. Imagine Curling in a Crossfire. Or downhill skiing straight out of a Bond movie. This is a fantastic series of ideas and must be explored.
With that out of the way the best winter Olympics sports (in my humble opinion) are the ones that you don't normally get to see. I enjoy watching curling (even without the crossfire), hockey, and speed skating. But the "best" for me is the Super G. It combines speed, danger, cool camera shots, and spectacular crashes. It's also a sport I only watch during the Olympics, which makes it a special treat.
Showing posts with label baseball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baseball. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
56 - Answers
[Editor's Note: Tim has been working on these answers for the better part of a month now. Unfortunately it's NaNoWriMo season again so he's more pressed for time than usual. Honestly I don't know what that man does with his time. He could be running a meth lab out of his basement for all I know. What I do know is that he finally came through with the second-longest set of answers in Ask Mitssob history. It's not his best work, but it'll do.]
Q: Bill - Why do trees rot from the inside out?
A: Despite several minutes of research on the topic I have no idea why trees rot from the inside out. I learned a bit about tree rot in general. Heart Rot Tree Disease, for example, "is caused by fungi which have entered the tree through open wounds and bare exposed wood." I also found this site that explains how to evaluate trunk cavities. I would guess the answer is that the rot attacks the oldest wood first, and that wood is found at the center of the tree. I suggest tracking down an arborist if you want a more complete answer.
Q: vanessa - Why do people carve pumpkins for Halloween? (I've actually heard 'why' but I'd like to see what you dig up!)
A: From the site PumpkinCarving101:
On this magical night, glowing jack-o-lanterns, carved from turnips or gourds, were set on porches and in windows to welcome deceased loved ones, but also to act as protection against malevolent spirits. Burning lumps of coal were used inside as a source of light, later to be replaced by candles.
Today people carve pumpkins as a way to celebrate the holiday, to enjoy the feeling of pumpkin guts on their hands, and to provide targets for malicious youths wishing to rebel against society by smashing the hard work of others.
Q: Eric Democko - What is the temperature in Honolulu in October?
A: It is a lovely mid-80s at the time I am writing this. The palm trees are swaying in a gentle breeze and the ocean looks like something out of a postcard.
Q: Bill - What do I do to make facebook applications with all these flash/java animations run faster on my computer? Is it RAM? Video Card? Processor?
A: There are a few things to do that can make your computer run faster.
1. Eliminate background processes. Things like virus scanners, search-engine-toolbars, etc can slow your computer down if there are enough of them.
2. Defragment your hard drive.
3. Uninstall programs that you no longer need or use.
4. Clean out your registry. [Ed. - Isn't he already married? Not that kind of registry, you computer-illiterate nay-sayer.]
This last one is something that I've overlooked in past conversations with you about this subject. The Windows registry is where applications store information that they use while running. When you first do an install of Windows your registry is fairly small and clean, but over time the registry can get bloated with extra information from old applications that you've uninstalled, or outdated information from applications you no longer use. As the registry grows larger and more complex it takes longer for applications and Windows itself to scan it and find the information that they need to run. Thus you should clean it out from time to time to help your computer run faster.
On that topic, while I was researching this question I found a utility called CCleaner. I used it on my Dell D600 laptop as a test to see if it would help make it run faster, and I have to say that it seems to have done the job well so far. It got rid of about 500MB worth of temporary files, plus it cleaned out 232 registry entries that were no longer needed. My laptop boots noticeably faster now and seems to run smoother too. I suggest giving it a shot. If you'd like a house call then let me know and I'll swing by sometime.
Q: Brett - I might have already asked this, but it is a good question; Do you think Bob Seger ever made it to Kathmandu?
A: You did in fact ask me this question earlier this year. It was part of Episode 43 of Ask Mitssob. As I said then, I do think that he made it.
Q: Brett - If I already asked that, then never mind, but here is a new question also concerning Mr. Seger: If Bob Seger was from Detroit, why did he call his band the Silver Bullet band? Was Bob Seger a werewolf hunter? Or just a fan of Coors Light?
A: I do not have the faintest idea why Bob Seger named one of his bands the Silver Bullet Band. It's entirely possible that he was a werewolf and/or vampire hunter and used the name of his band as a sort of reverse camouflage to deflect attention away from him. The name could also be meant to inspire vampire/werewolf hunters around the greater Detroit area.
I find it hard to believe that a love of Coors Light was the reason for the name of his band. For one thing, one of his early singles with the Silver Bullet Band was called "Get Out of Denver." Why would he advocate getting out of a place that produced the beer he'd named his band for? To paraphrase the Chewbacca defense, that does not make sense.
I think that it's more likely that the name of the band is a reference to the common meaning of the term "silver bullet", which is a one-shot, simple solution to a complex problem. Am I right? I have no idea. You'll have to ask Mr. Seger that question to get the real story.
Q: Jesse - how much sex is too much?
A: I made the mistake of asking my coworkers this question one night in Hawaii as we walked to dinner.
Coworker 1: If you start needing blue pills.
Coworker 2: If your genitals get covered in puss.
And those were the only two responses that I can actually post here. The rest were just too graphic for a family site. I'm trying hard to forget them myself.
The glib answer to this question would be, "Too much sex? What, are you crazy? There's no such thing!" In fact I think that there are definitely cases where there can be too much sex. For example, I've heard that if you are trying to conceive then too much sex can lead to diminishing returns, that is your odds of conceiving actually go down. That's one case where there is such a thing as too much sex.
Also, and not to get overly graphic here, but I imagine that the physical limitation on sex in the, um, lubrication department depends on each individual. I won't add any more to that. In fact, let's just move on.
There is also a psychological angle to this question. Sex is as much about the mind as it is the body. If you have lots of sex with multiple partners, aside from the obvious physical hazards from STDs, there is the danger of depression and other psychological ailments.
Ultimately it's dependent on too many variables to give a single answer. Normally this is the part of my answer where I'd say to go ahead and find out the limit for yourself, but in this case I'll hold back that advice. I'll just say that you should have as much sex as you and your partner are comfortable with. Good luck out there, people.
Q: Anonymous - mitsob, I am an average guy trying to seduce better than average women. Recently I was propositioned by one young lady to "Talk nerdy to me." What should I say?
A: Frankly I'm afraid to touch this question. I am both an acknowledged nerd and a well-below-average ladies man. In other words, I can speak nerd but can't guarantee that anything I come up with will help you make inroads with the opposite sex. So rather than strain my brain I will turn this answer over to my close personal friend the Internet.
First, I came across this article at DateHookup.com. It's got some good advice, including a couple of pickup lines like "Hey, we can make beautiful .wav files together." And speaking of pickup lines, a collection of 50 nerdy pickup lines can be found here. I just read them and am speechless. Some of them might actually work for you, amazing as that sounds. I found another good pickup line on twitter: hey babe, wanna come over to myspace and twitter my yahoo 'til I google all over your facebook? Simple, direct, and clever. Finally, for more inspiration you might try reading the book "Talk Nerdy To Me" by Vicki Lewis Thompson.
By the way, if any of these lines work please let me know. I need all the help I can get.
Q: Jesse - what is a better way to wake up in the morning so I am not late to work?
A: Before I give my answer let me share a quick anecdote. I'm writing some of these answers from lovin' cup, a coffee/wine/beer bar and restaurant next to RIT's campus. It's a pleasant place to do a little writing, and I thought by coming here that I would be left alone. Well just as I started writing this answer a blonde haired young man with a scraggly beard and a Grateful Dead necklace moseyed over to me and asked what I was doing. I told him I was writing answers to questions, and that one was about how to wake up better. His suggestion was to "make sure some bitch is there to give you a fuckin' blowjob when you wake up." After giving that answer he drifted off, then came back asked me if I would like a Xanax to "help you mellow out." Judging from his demeanor I'd say he can't have many to spare.
Anyway, now that that's over with let me get on with the answer. I will divide up this answer into two categories: sleeping, and morning routine.
First, some suggestions on how to improve your sleeping routine:
- Go to bed earlier. An average adult requires at least 6 hours of sleep per night. If you're not getting that much then it can be harder to wake up.
- As Matt suggested: "Don't drink so much the night before." Alcohol can help you fall asleep faster but you won't sleep as deeply or as well, and thus will have a harder time waking up in the morning.
- Try reading for a while in bed before actually trying to sleep. It can help you relax and get you more ready for sleep.
Next, here are some ideas on how to change your routine so as to maximize the amount of time that you can stay in bed every morning.
- Shower the night before.
- Sleep in the clothes you plan on wearing to work the next day. That will save you at least a minute.
- If you bring your lunch with you to work, make it the night before.
Finally, it wouldn't be a true Ask Mitssob answer without some random silliness thrown in for good measure:
- Move closer to work.
- Sleep at your desk at night.
- Quit your job and work from home.
Q: Matt - What are your thoughts on Congress getting involved with sports? They had the giant steroids debacle, and now they're having hearings about NFL injuries. Should they be sticking to issues like fixing healthcare and the economy, or is this a legit topic for them?
A: I think that Congress should stay out of sports unless we allow those persons under investigation in sports the opportunity to meddle in the affairs of Congress. Seems fair to me.
On a more serious note I do not think that Congress should get involved in the issues surrounding injuries in the NFL. Professional sports in general are privately run and privately owned enterprises. Any issues that do not affect the public sphere should not be the business of Congress. Now, if an NFL team engages in criminal activity such as laundering money or murdering players who don't perform well then Congress would be right to investigate. But player health issues fall under the NFL's umbrella. If the NFL is not doing a good job of taking care of its players then that's an issue between the players and the NFL, not Congress.
More to the point, is it the role of Congress to look at these issues? The United States Constitution is pretty clear about the roles of the three branches of government. Nowhere is it mentioned that Congress should get involved in the recreational affairs of the citizens, nor in the legal business practices of private companies.
Q(A): Bill - NFL injuries? Really? I think they should mandate that quarterbacks not be treated like porcelain dolls. These roughing the quartback-contact to the head calls are getting ridiculous.
Q(B): Kristian - Aaron Rodgers got cracked in the helmet last night and nothing was called. I was shocked. And the reason they're treated like porcelain dolls is because of Brady.
A: I agree with both up to a point. Yes, quarterbacks are being overprotected in today's NFL, and yes, part of the reason that they're treated like "porcelain dolls" is because of the injury that Brady sustained last year. But why are quarterbacks being treated that way? The logic behind protecting quarterbacks is that they are generally the most visible and high-profile football players on any particular team. They often make the most money and thus represent the biggest investment a team makes as far as players go. So when a team's quarterback gets injured the team as a whole suffers greatly. Thus there is an interest on the part of the teams to lobby for greater protection of the quarterbacks.
Now, has the pendulum swung too far in the direction of quarterback protection? I think so, yes. Personally I'd like to see the line come down as follows:
1. A quarterback should be subject to the same "dirty hits" rules as every other player. Late hits, facemasks, spearing, etc. should be called the same regardless of what position you play.
2. Eliminate "roughing the passer" and "roughing the kicker" penalties altogether. Yes, they are in "helpless" positions from time to time. My answer: if you don't want to get hit then go be a golfer. Otherwise accept the fact that you play a rough sport.
Q: Kristian - Going along with the sports topic, why does Bud Selig not have a spine?
A: I am not exactly sure what you are referring to. If you wouldn't mind, could you give me some specific instance of his lacking a spine? I'm not trying to duck the question, but I don't want to answer until I know what you're asking about. Sorry. See you next time.
Q: Eric - instant replay in baseball: will it ever happen for more than just reviews of home runs? also, why do the umps in the world series suck so bad?
A: Instant replay in baseball will expand to other aspects of the game sooner rather than later. It might come as soon as next year but I would guess that it'll be more like three years before the next change in instant replay happens. The next area of the game to get attention will be calls on the bases, particularly close calls at first base and during steals, and also fair and foul balls.
As to why the umps in the world series suck so bad, I think it's a combination of factors. Despite the fact that we all want them to be perfect Umpires are human. They make mistakes. Did this world series contain more mistakes than normal? I know that it seemed that way judging from the quantity and voracity of reactions from fans of both teams. Another factor could be the crowds themselves. I think that umpires are more susceptible to pressure from a vocal crowd than they admit. And that's a very human reaction to their job. They want to make everyone happy, and I suspect that that failing contributes to some bad calls.
Finally, people of a more conspiratorial mindset than me will say that the umps are fudging calls in the game so as to give one team an advantage over another as part of a larger plan (such as making sure the series goes longer). I personally do not believe this, but I also know that there's a wide range of people who do. Maybe I'm looking at the sports world in general with rose colored glasses, but I believe that it's more likely that umpires either make mistakes or are influenced by a home crowd than in some grand conspiracy.
Q: Matt - The Sprint Cup series race at Talladega on the weekend was complete horseshit. A lot of people including myself blame the lack of exciting racing on the implementation of the restrictor plates designed to make the top speed slower and hence accidents that are less harsh. On the flipside, the cars are bunched up so close that now it's almost impossible to have a race without having one or more big big crashes. The Truck Series race was also held at the same track on the same weekend with much better racing and much fewer wrecks as well. So I ask, are the plates really doing that much good?
A: A disclaimer: I am not a racing fan. I know very little about the sport, and care about it even less. Normally I use "Ask Mitssob" as a way to expand my knowledge about a particular subject and come to some kind of educated and informed opinion about things I don't know much about. I confess that my desire to be educated on this subject is pretty low, so I'll be relying on common knowledge, intuition, and guesses for this answer.
As far a I can tell the rules in NASCAR are set up for two reasons. The first is safety. By limiting the top speed that a race car can be driven that means that the top speed that it can strike an object is limited and the risk of injury to the driver is reduced. The second reason to make the cars as equal as possible so that the race comes down to the driver. That's a very noble goal, but teams are going to try and bend those rules as much as possible to gain some kind of mechanical edge. The smarter the crew chief, the more likely that they will find some way to eek out an edge within the rules.
In my opinion when the rules of sports are rewritten to make things more "fair" then the sport itself tends to suffer. In the case of NASCAR the rules put in place to level the playing field are in fact creating more dangerous and less competitive conditions. Is that good? No, I don't think so.
Let me turn the question around and ask what the purpose of the restrictor plate really is. As you point out the cars have a lower top speed, but cars are more bunched up as a result. When cars are more bunched up there is a bigger danger of large and spectacular wrecks. Big crashes are one of the reasons that people tune in to watch racing. So it begs the question: could it be that the actual purpose is to cause more dangerous racing conditions? I know that sounds conspiratorial, but it's something to consider.
Q: Sarah LaBombard - Are you moving to Hawaii?
A: No. I enjoyed my three weeks in Hawaii very much. Ultimately, though, it reminded me that I am a cold weather creature. I have said before that I would have trouble living in a place that didn't have four seasons and three weeks in Hawaii did not change that. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast and I will certainly go back in the future, but as for a permanent relocation I will pass.
Q: Bill - Why do trees rot from the inside out?
A: Despite several minutes of research on the topic I have no idea why trees rot from the inside out. I learned a bit about tree rot in general. Heart Rot Tree Disease, for example, "is caused by fungi which have entered the tree through open wounds and bare exposed wood." I also found this site that explains how to evaluate trunk cavities. I would guess the answer is that the rot attacks the oldest wood first, and that wood is found at the center of the tree. I suggest tracking down an arborist if you want a more complete answer.
Q: vanessa - Why do people carve pumpkins for Halloween? (I've actually heard 'why' but I'd like to see what you dig up!)
A: From the site PumpkinCarving101:
On this magical night, glowing jack-o-lanterns, carved from turnips or gourds, were set on porches and in windows to welcome deceased loved ones, but also to act as protection against malevolent spirits. Burning lumps of coal were used inside as a source of light, later to be replaced by candles.
Today people carve pumpkins as a way to celebrate the holiday, to enjoy the feeling of pumpkin guts on their hands, and to provide targets for malicious youths wishing to rebel against society by smashing the hard work of others.
Q: Eric Democko - What is the temperature in Honolulu in October?
A: It is a lovely mid-80s at the time I am writing this. The palm trees are swaying in a gentle breeze and the ocean looks like something out of a postcard.
Q: Bill - What do I do to make facebook applications with all these flash/java animations run faster on my computer? Is it RAM? Video Card? Processor?
A: There are a few things to do that can make your computer run faster.
1. Eliminate background processes. Things like virus scanners, search-engine-toolbars, etc can slow your computer down if there are enough of them.
2. Defragment your hard drive.
3. Uninstall programs that you no longer need or use.
4. Clean out your registry. [Ed. - Isn't he already married? Not that kind of registry, you computer-illiterate nay-sayer.]
This last one is something that I've overlooked in past conversations with you about this subject. The Windows registry is where applications store information that they use while running. When you first do an install of Windows your registry is fairly small and clean, but over time the registry can get bloated with extra information from old applications that you've uninstalled, or outdated information from applications you no longer use. As the registry grows larger and more complex it takes longer for applications and Windows itself to scan it and find the information that they need to run. Thus you should clean it out from time to time to help your computer run faster.
On that topic, while I was researching this question I found a utility called CCleaner. I used it on my Dell D600 laptop as a test to see if it would help make it run faster, and I have to say that it seems to have done the job well so far. It got rid of about 500MB worth of temporary files, plus it cleaned out 232 registry entries that were no longer needed. My laptop boots noticeably faster now and seems to run smoother too. I suggest giving it a shot. If you'd like a house call then let me know and I'll swing by sometime.
Q: Brett - I might have already asked this, but it is a good question; Do you think Bob Seger ever made it to Kathmandu?
A: You did in fact ask me this question earlier this year. It was part of Episode 43 of Ask Mitssob. As I said then, I do think that he made it.
Q: Brett - If I already asked that, then never mind, but here is a new question also concerning Mr. Seger: If Bob Seger was from Detroit, why did he call his band the Silver Bullet band? Was Bob Seger a werewolf hunter? Or just a fan of Coors Light?
A: I do not have the faintest idea why Bob Seger named one of his bands the Silver Bullet Band. It's entirely possible that he was a werewolf and/or vampire hunter and used the name of his band as a sort of reverse camouflage to deflect attention away from him. The name could also be meant to inspire vampire/werewolf hunters around the greater Detroit area.
I find it hard to believe that a love of Coors Light was the reason for the name of his band. For one thing, one of his early singles with the Silver Bullet Band was called "Get Out of Denver." Why would he advocate getting out of a place that produced the beer he'd named his band for? To paraphrase the Chewbacca defense, that does not make sense.
I think that it's more likely that the name of the band is a reference to the common meaning of the term "silver bullet", which is a one-shot, simple solution to a complex problem. Am I right? I have no idea. You'll have to ask Mr. Seger that question to get the real story.
Q: Jesse - how much sex is too much?
A: I made the mistake of asking my coworkers this question one night in Hawaii as we walked to dinner.
Coworker 1: If you start needing blue pills.
Coworker 2: If your genitals get covered in puss.
And those were the only two responses that I can actually post here. The rest were just too graphic for a family site. I'm trying hard to forget them myself.
The glib answer to this question would be, "Too much sex? What, are you crazy? There's no such thing!" In fact I think that there are definitely cases where there can be too much sex. For example, I've heard that if you are trying to conceive then too much sex can lead to diminishing returns, that is your odds of conceiving actually go down. That's one case where there is such a thing as too much sex.
Also, and not to get overly graphic here, but I imagine that the physical limitation on sex in the, um, lubrication department depends on each individual. I won't add any more to that. In fact, let's just move on.
There is also a psychological angle to this question. Sex is as much about the mind as it is the body. If you have lots of sex with multiple partners, aside from the obvious physical hazards from STDs, there is the danger of depression and other psychological ailments.
Ultimately it's dependent on too many variables to give a single answer. Normally this is the part of my answer where I'd say to go ahead and find out the limit for yourself, but in this case I'll hold back that advice. I'll just say that you should have as much sex as you and your partner are comfortable with. Good luck out there, people.
Q: Anonymous - mitsob, I am an average guy trying to seduce better than average women. Recently I was propositioned by one young lady to "Talk nerdy to me." What should I say?
A: Frankly I'm afraid to touch this question. I am both an acknowledged nerd and a well-below-average ladies man. In other words, I can speak nerd but can't guarantee that anything I come up with will help you make inroads with the opposite sex. So rather than strain my brain I will turn this answer over to my close personal friend the Internet.
First, I came across this article at DateHookup.com. It's got some good advice, including a couple of pickup lines like "Hey, we can make beautiful .wav files together." And speaking of pickup lines, a collection of 50 nerdy pickup lines can be found here. I just read them and am speechless. Some of them might actually work for you, amazing as that sounds. I found another good pickup line on twitter: hey babe, wanna come over to myspace and twitter my yahoo 'til I google all over your facebook? Simple, direct, and clever. Finally, for more inspiration you might try reading the book "Talk Nerdy To Me" by Vicki Lewis Thompson.
By the way, if any of these lines work please let me know. I need all the help I can get.
Q: Jesse - what is a better way to wake up in the morning so I am not late to work?
A: Before I give my answer let me share a quick anecdote. I'm writing some of these answers from lovin' cup, a coffee/wine/beer bar and restaurant next to RIT's campus. It's a pleasant place to do a little writing, and I thought by coming here that I would be left alone. Well just as I started writing this answer a blonde haired young man with a scraggly beard and a Grateful Dead necklace moseyed over to me and asked what I was doing. I told him I was writing answers to questions, and that one was about how to wake up better. His suggestion was to "make sure some bitch is there to give you a fuckin' blowjob when you wake up." After giving that answer he drifted off, then came back asked me if I would like a Xanax to "help you mellow out." Judging from his demeanor I'd say he can't have many to spare.
Anyway, now that that's over with let me get on with the answer. I will divide up this answer into two categories: sleeping, and morning routine.
First, some suggestions on how to improve your sleeping routine:
- Go to bed earlier. An average adult requires at least 6 hours of sleep per night. If you're not getting that much then it can be harder to wake up.
- As Matt suggested: "Don't drink so much the night before." Alcohol can help you fall asleep faster but you won't sleep as deeply or as well, and thus will have a harder time waking up in the morning.
- Try reading for a while in bed before actually trying to sleep. It can help you relax and get you more ready for sleep.
Next, here are some ideas on how to change your routine so as to maximize the amount of time that you can stay in bed every morning.
- Shower the night before.
- Sleep in the clothes you plan on wearing to work the next day. That will save you at least a minute.
- If you bring your lunch with you to work, make it the night before.
Finally, it wouldn't be a true Ask Mitssob answer without some random silliness thrown in for good measure:
- Move closer to work.
- Sleep at your desk at night.
- Quit your job and work from home.
Q: Matt - What are your thoughts on Congress getting involved with sports? They had the giant steroids debacle, and now they're having hearings about NFL injuries. Should they be sticking to issues like fixing healthcare and the economy, or is this a legit topic for them?
A: I think that Congress should stay out of sports unless we allow those persons under investigation in sports the opportunity to meddle in the affairs of Congress. Seems fair to me.
On a more serious note I do not think that Congress should get involved in the issues surrounding injuries in the NFL. Professional sports in general are privately run and privately owned enterprises. Any issues that do not affect the public sphere should not be the business of Congress. Now, if an NFL team engages in criminal activity such as laundering money or murdering players who don't perform well then Congress would be right to investigate. But player health issues fall under the NFL's umbrella. If the NFL is not doing a good job of taking care of its players then that's an issue between the players and the NFL, not Congress.
More to the point, is it the role of Congress to look at these issues? The United States Constitution is pretty clear about the roles of the three branches of government. Nowhere is it mentioned that Congress should get involved in the recreational affairs of the citizens, nor in the legal business practices of private companies.
Q(A): Bill - NFL injuries? Really? I think they should mandate that quarterbacks not be treated like porcelain dolls. These roughing the quartback-contact to the head calls are getting ridiculous.
Q(B): Kristian - Aaron Rodgers got cracked in the helmet last night and nothing was called. I was shocked. And the reason they're treated like porcelain dolls is because of Brady.
A: I agree with both up to a point. Yes, quarterbacks are being overprotected in today's NFL, and yes, part of the reason that they're treated like "porcelain dolls" is because of the injury that Brady sustained last year. But why are quarterbacks being treated that way? The logic behind protecting quarterbacks is that they are generally the most visible and high-profile football players on any particular team. They often make the most money and thus represent the biggest investment a team makes as far as players go. So when a team's quarterback gets injured the team as a whole suffers greatly. Thus there is an interest on the part of the teams to lobby for greater protection of the quarterbacks.
Now, has the pendulum swung too far in the direction of quarterback protection? I think so, yes. Personally I'd like to see the line come down as follows:
1. A quarterback should be subject to the same "dirty hits" rules as every other player. Late hits, facemasks, spearing, etc. should be called the same regardless of what position you play.
2. Eliminate "roughing the passer" and "roughing the kicker" penalties altogether. Yes, they are in "helpless" positions from time to time. My answer: if you don't want to get hit then go be a golfer. Otherwise accept the fact that you play a rough sport.
Q: Kristian - Going along with the sports topic, why does Bud Selig not have a spine?
A: I am not exactly sure what you are referring to. If you wouldn't mind, could you give me some specific instance of his lacking a spine? I'm not trying to duck the question, but I don't want to answer until I know what you're asking about. Sorry. See you next time.
Q: Eric - instant replay in baseball: will it ever happen for more than just reviews of home runs? also, why do the umps in the world series suck so bad?
A: Instant replay in baseball will expand to other aspects of the game sooner rather than later. It might come as soon as next year but I would guess that it'll be more like three years before the next change in instant replay happens. The next area of the game to get attention will be calls on the bases, particularly close calls at first base and during steals, and also fair and foul balls.
As to why the umps in the world series suck so bad, I think it's a combination of factors. Despite the fact that we all want them to be perfect Umpires are human. They make mistakes. Did this world series contain more mistakes than normal? I know that it seemed that way judging from the quantity and voracity of reactions from fans of both teams. Another factor could be the crowds themselves. I think that umpires are more susceptible to pressure from a vocal crowd than they admit. And that's a very human reaction to their job. They want to make everyone happy, and I suspect that that failing contributes to some bad calls.
Finally, people of a more conspiratorial mindset than me will say that the umps are fudging calls in the game so as to give one team an advantage over another as part of a larger plan (such as making sure the series goes longer). I personally do not believe this, but I also know that there's a wide range of people who do. Maybe I'm looking at the sports world in general with rose colored glasses, but I believe that it's more likely that umpires either make mistakes or are influenced by a home crowd than in some grand conspiracy.
Q: Matt - The Sprint Cup series race at Talladega on the weekend was complete horseshit. A lot of people including myself blame the lack of exciting racing on the implementation of the restrictor plates designed to make the top speed slower and hence accidents that are less harsh. On the flipside, the cars are bunched up so close that now it's almost impossible to have a race without having one or more big big crashes. The Truck Series race was also held at the same track on the same weekend with much better racing and much fewer wrecks as well. So I ask, are the plates really doing that much good?
A: A disclaimer: I am not a racing fan. I know very little about the sport, and care about it even less. Normally I use "Ask Mitssob" as a way to expand my knowledge about a particular subject and come to some kind of educated and informed opinion about things I don't know much about. I confess that my desire to be educated on this subject is pretty low, so I'll be relying on common knowledge, intuition, and guesses for this answer.
As far a I can tell the rules in NASCAR are set up for two reasons. The first is safety. By limiting the top speed that a race car can be driven that means that the top speed that it can strike an object is limited and the risk of injury to the driver is reduced. The second reason to make the cars as equal as possible so that the race comes down to the driver. That's a very noble goal, but teams are going to try and bend those rules as much as possible to gain some kind of mechanical edge. The smarter the crew chief, the more likely that they will find some way to eek out an edge within the rules.
In my opinion when the rules of sports are rewritten to make things more "fair" then the sport itself tends to suffer. In the case of NASCAR the rules put in place to level the playing field are in fact creating more dangerous and less competitive conditions. Is that good? No, I don't think so.
Let me turn the question around and ask what the purpose of the restrictor plate really is. As you point out the cars have a lower top speed, but cars are more bunched up as a result. When cars are more bunched up there is a bigger danger of large and spectacular wrecks. Big crashes are one of the reasons that people tune in to watch racing. So it begs the question: could it be that the actual purpose is to cause more dangerous racing conditions? I know that sounds conspiratorial, but it's something to consider.
Q: Sarah LaBombard - Are you moving to Hawaii?
A: No. I enjoyed my three weeks in Hawaii very much. Ultimately, though, it reminded me that I am a cold weather creature. I have said before that I would have trouble living in a place that didn't have four seasons and three weeks in Hawaii did not change that. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast and I will certainly go back in the future, but as for a permanent relocation I will pass.
Monday, September 7, 2009
54 - Answers
Q: Jeff - Any questions?
A: I do have some questions, but since this is "Ask Mitssob" and not "Mitssob Asks" I'll keep them to myself.
Q: vanessa - Do you think "thats what she said" is overused? Along with that, how about quotes from such popular comedies as Anchorman, SuperBad, The Hangover, etc...are those overused as well?
A: "That's what she said" is just one of many of overused humorous responses to otherwise innocent statements. For example, I could say something like, "I don't like being confined in tight spaces for long durations." A response of "That's what she said!" would probably elicit a laugh from anyone honored to hear it. But if that becomes your response to EVERY innocent statement then you have officially become annoying and must be shown the error of your ways.
Along those lines, I think that quotes from popular comedies can easily become overused, but in moderation they add spice to conversation. For example, many of the people in my group at work are big fans of the Mel Brooks movies Spaceballs and Blazing Saddles, and will occasionally use quotes from those movies to lighten the mood. But again, moderation is key. Use them only when the situation warrants it, and when the humor will be appreciated by those around you.
Those of you who know me know that I am guilty of this, and have been for most of my life. I tend to latch onto a quote or saying and ride it for a long time, often far too long. Therefore I can't judge people who do this. I can only offer the warning that overusing quotes can lead to annoyance and un-funny looks from those around you. And no one wants that.
Q: Brett - Does a rising tide raise all boats?
A: A fine esoteric question. In the literal sense of the words, if a tide is high enough then it will raise all boats, including those under construction on dry land. Of course that would have to be a flood of epic proportions.
The phrase was used by John F. Kennedy in a speech defending the federal funding of the Greers Ferry Dam in Arkansas. The full text of the speech can be found here, and the relevant passage is quoted below:
"These projects produce wealth, they bring industry, they bring jobs, and the wealth they bring brings wealth to other sections of the United States. This State had about 200,000 cars in 1929. It has a million cars now. They weren't built in this State. They were built in Detroit. As this State's income rises, so does the income of Michigan. As the income of Michigan rises, so does the income of the United States. A rising tide lifts all the boats and as Arkansas becomes more prosperous so does the United States and as this section declines so does the United States. So I regard this as an investment by the people of the United States in the United States."
More recently the phrase "A rising tide raises all ships" has been used by advocates of conservative economic policies. The basic idea is that if you encourage economic growth (the "rising tide") then that growth will benefit all Americans ("ships"). I think that this makes sense. If you grow the economy then more jobs are created which means more people can be self-reliant and pursue happiness in their lives.
Q: Nate - Why did we all blow on NES cartridges thinking that would make them work?
A: I know that I blew on the NES cartridges in an effort to get dust out of them. This probably wasn't the real reason why this particular fix worked. My guess is that the moisture in your breath gets onto the metal contacts in the cartridge and makes a connection more likely. I'll also attribute some of this blowing to the placebo effect. We blew on these cartridges, hit the units, powered them off and on, etc., all in an effort to get them to work. When they did finally start working we probably just attributed it to one of these fixes, regardless of whether or not the fix worked.
A random thought concerning this question: If you were to ask a current college student this question would they know what you were talking about? My guess is no. Blowing on an NES cartridge is probably just as anachronistic to a college student today as making mix tapes is.
Q: Kristian - Who is worse, Red Sox fans or Yankee fans? This is assuming you are not a fan of either team.
A: Your assumption is invalid. I am a lifelong fan of the Boston Red Sox. Still, I'll try to be objective in my answer.
Oh who am I kidding? I can't be objective about this. Sorry. I will provide an answer, and at least now you know where I'm coming from when I give it.
Yankee fans are worse (I know, shocking, right?). The biggest problem that I have with Yankee fans is their sense of entitlement. Every season must inevitably lead to another World Championship. Yes, I know that all teams feel this way, but the difference is that most other fans don't expect it as a birthright. As a fan of the Red Sox, I want them to win the World Series. Yankee fans think that they should win the World Series. In fact, the playoffs are just a formality to them. Just crown them champions and let everyone get on with their lives.
Am I painting an accurate picture of Yankee fans? As a biased Red Sox fan I don't know. This is just how I see things. I'm sure that if you ask a Yankee fan they would disagree with my statement. But I don't know of fans of any other team that feel this way. Cubs fans? Royals fans? Angels fans? They all seem to want their team to win, but not expect it. And that's the difference between Yankee fans and other fans.
Are Red Sox fans perfect? Of course not! Red Sox fans are still nursing the bitterness of the fact that the Yankees have many many times more championships than the Red Sox. Despite the two World Series this century they still hold onto a sense of fatality and despair when their team isn't doing well. "The sky is falling" mentality dies hard. This makes us annoying. I know it, I embrace it, and I'm not going to change.
A note about the fans of both teams in general. Any successful franchise is going to attract a certain number of bandwagon jumpers (see also Boston Celtics, Detroit Red Wings, and LA Lakers). In the mid to late 90's the Yankees won a string of championships that brought a huge number of fans to their doorstep. People love to root for a winner, and when your team continues winning then that just makes it better. Then in the early 2000's an interesting thing happened: people started rooting for the "underdog" Red Sox. This culminated in the playoffs of the 2003 and 2004 seasons, and the Red Sox finally winning the World Series in 2004. This, in turn, led to a huge number of recent converts to the Red Sox. "Red Sox Nation" became a rallying cry to beleaguered fans everywhere. I welcome converts, but I also know that they are a fickle bunch who will probably jump right off the bandwagon if another lovable loser comes along.
As of this writing the Yankees have a 7.5 game lead over the Red Sox in the American League East. I am very unhappy about this as a devoted Red Sox fan. However, there's one thing about this development that I find heartening: the return of the "Yankee Fan Swagger". I never thought I'd miss the cocky, arrogant, smug and entitled Yankee fan, but they've been sadly missing for most of this season. Now that they're back I find myself amused at their return because watching their dreams get crushed in the agony of defeat is one of the best things in the world.
Q: Kristian - Why do douchebags pop their collars?
A: This is something I've been wondering for a long time. Generally speaking the following rule applies: Not all douchebags pop their collars, but everyone who pops their collars is a douchebag. Because of this rule I tend to think of the collar popping as a signal to the rest of humanity for purposes of socializing and mating. For example, if a girl were looking to pick up a douchebag in a bar then the popped collar would certainly help her find said douchebag. In fact, she'd probably have her choice of douchebags.
So how did this start? I have no idea, and the Internets aren't particularly helpful. It could be that one douchebag (let's call him Douchebag Alpha) forgot to fix his collar after ironing his shirt. Another douchebag noticed this (Douchebag Beta), said, "Hey, man, that's fly!" and popped his collar to match. Soon it had spread throughout the land of douchebags and became common practice.
Finally, I'll use your question as an excuse to post a link to one of my favorite websites: Hot Chicks With Douchebags.
Q: Jesse - what would happen if I walked up to a girl at the bar and said "you, me, the backseat of my car, now"?
A: I actually thought about trying this out while on my last trip for work. I decided not to, mostly because I am a very shy person, but also because that's just not the kind of guy I am. I do not have any experience picking up girls in bars, and I didn't want my first attempt to be so nakedly direct.
Since I don't know you I can't judge how your proposal would play to the girl in question. Are you normally a smooth guy (ie. Nate D)? Do you have much experience picking up girls in bars? Have you tried other methods in the past?
The type of bar also comes into play. If you were in a sports bar watching a big game, and you and the girl shared an interest in the same team, and that team won, then she might be more willing to take the plunge. On the other hand if the bar were a strip bar and you tried that line on a stripper, you might get lucky, or you might get your ass kicked by Vinny the Bouncer.
In the end there's only one way to find out the answer to this question: you're going to have to try it. Good luck and let me know how it turns out for you.
Q: Jesse - what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
A: Peanut butter is a food spread made from mashed up peanuts mixed with a little salt and sugar. Jam is a spread that is made from fruit juice, bits of fruit, and a gelatin mix. Jelly, by contrast, does not contain bits of fruit in it, only the flavor of the fruit.
Q: Brett - You guys are bad at this.
A: Oh I don't know about that.
Q: Bill - Not just bad...terrible
A: Come on, Bill. Give them a little time.
Q: Matt - Terribad. But on a serious note, I do have a question. Why is it that for most sports, the clock counts DOWN from a certain time (say, 20:00 for hockey) whereas for soccer the clock counts UP to 90:00?
A: Imprecise time management of is one of many things about soccer that bugs me, but it's this imprecision that leads us to the answer to the question. The reason that the clock counts up is that the clock is not stopped for interruptions in the game such as goals, injuries or streakers (the link is safe for work, I assure you). The refs decide how much time is needed to account for those things and simply tacks that time onto the end. For example, if they decide that the game needs to go on for an additional three minutes, then the total time will be 93 minutes rather than -3 minutes.
Also, as Jon Otter correctly pointed out: "The clock counts up to 20:00 in international hockey. You should watch the Olympics more often." I agree on both counts, though I admit that I'd forgotten that tidbit about international hockey.
Q: Matt - Coke or Pepsi?
A: When I still drank sugared sodas on a regular basis I always preferred Pepsi to Coke. I don't know why exactly, but I just liked it better. Pepsi also makes my favorite caffeinated beverage: Mountain Dew. All throughout college it was my energy drink of choice. Before most hockey games I would purchase a large Mt. Dew to fuel my hyperactive drumming in the pep band. Senior year found me spending lots of time in the computer engineering lab, and to sustain myself I would snack on peach rings, KitKat bars and Mt. Dew.
When my sister developed Type 1 diabetes my family started buying diet sodas. She prefers diet Coke to diet Pepsi and so do I. Later on in my life I decided to stop drinking sugared sodas to reduce the amount of calories in my diet and have switched over to diet Coke and diet Mountain Dew.
I don't drink energy drinks on a regular basis since they tend to make my heart skip, but when I do I prefer the Monster Lo-Carb, which is owned and managed by Coca-Cola.
Q: Sam - will you be my friend?
A: The word "friend" has different connotations today than it did even 5 years ago. Thanks to the advent of social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and Jolinko, the word "friend" has come to include casual online acquaintances as well as genuine friends. I know of people who have hundreds of "friends", though I sincerely doubt that they consider all of them friends in the traditional sense of the word. So if you would like to be my "friend" on Jolinko (or Facebook or Twitter) then sure, why not? Maybe if we get to know each other in the online realm then we can create a genuine actual friendship from it. It could happen.
Q: Jesse - why doesn't google maps give me directions from NYC to London anymore, when it used to tell me to swim across the Atlantic?
A: I didn't know that GoogleMaps did that, but I'm not surprised. Google has been a fairly fun-loving bunch over the years. But I guess they wanted to be a little more professional so that little bit of humor had to go. Bummer. I wish I'd seen it.
Q: Bill - I'm sure Otter will have an answer for this one too...The "progressive" setting on my DVD player doesn't seem to change the picture on my tv. From what I recall, analog tv was 240 lines of resolution, DVD was 480, and HD is 1080. So is the DVD player automatically sending 480 through the component cables? Would progressive take it to 960?
A: I don't know exactly what type of DVD player you have, but I suspect that the "progressive" feature of your DVD player will simply switch from interlaced (normal) to progressive scan. A good article explaining this can be found here, but here's a quick version: A DVD player displays at 480 lines of resolution, either interlaced (every other line, switching at a given frequency) or progressive (all lines at once). Your television is an HD set, however, which means a resolution of 720 or 1080 depending on the quality of the set. By default the DVD player won't take up the full screen. If your DVD player is an upconverting one (as I suspect it is) then you have to find the setting that lets you change the resolution to either 720p, 1080i, or 1080p. That will make the DVD take up the full screen and improve the quality of the image for you.
If I've misread your question then please tell me and I'll do my best to answer it next time. Good luck!
Q: Jarsh - I can answer the progressive question too...
A: Perhaps "Ask Jarsh" would be a logical progression for this feature. Or maybe "Ask Jolinko" (or in keeping with the backwardsness, "Ask Okniloj").
Q: Robert - I am looking for a good eye-opener recipe for use on the early leg of certain trips. I'm looking to add Kahlua, and Baileys Irish Cream to Coffee. What proportions should I use?
A: I've never tried adding alcohol to coffee before. I would trust the opinions of fellow Ask Mitssob aficionados with their suggestions. Below are the comments that followed this question:
Eric (Carney): I usually use a shot of each plus a shot of Irish Whiskey.
Sam: i usually go kahlua OR bailey's, and always heavier on the whiskey
Robert: I've had Kalhua and Bailey's in 1:1 proportion by themselves... It was delicious. I just figure it'd be good with coffee too.
Eric (Democko): Carney- that is your coffee recipe for weekdays. what would you add on the weekends?
Eric (Carney): hookers.
Jake: Now THAT is coffee I would drink.
Rani: I thought it's supposed to help get the taste of hookers out of your mouth though on weekends
I must say that I'm proud at how quickly this commentary degenerated into hookers. Where else but Jolinko is such a thing possible? It makes me wish I'd listened to my editor and put this feature out in public sooner. [Ed: I told you, Tim. Why don't you ever listen to me? Because you, like the other voices in my head, are not generally to be trusted.]
The only random thought I might add would be to make a White Russian and pour coffee into it. Of course this might anger the Lebowski Gods, but I'd be willing to risk that for the sake of this answer.
Q: Bill Jeffers - Basement is cold, bedroom is warm. Grok no like.
A: Based on both your statement and the logic of Goldilocks and The Three Bears the first floor of your house must be just right so you should live there until this season passes.
A: I do have some questions, but since this is "Ask Mitssob" and not "Mitssob Asks" I'll keep them to myself.
Q: vanessa - Do you think "thats what she said" is overused? Along with that, how about quotes from such popular comedies as Anchorman, SuperBad, The Hangover, etc...are those overused as well?
A: "That's what she said" is just one of many of overused humorous responses to otherwise innocent statements. For example, I could say something like, "I don't like being confined in tight spaces for long durations." A response of "That's what she said!" would probably elicit a laugh from anyone honored to hear it. But if that becomes your response to EVERY innocent statement then you have officially become annoying and must be shown the error of your ways.
Along those lines, I think that quotes from popular comedies can easily become overused, but in moderation they add spice to conversation. For example, many of the people in my group at work are big fans of the Mel Brooks movies Spaceballs and Blazing Saddles, and will occasionally use quotes from those movies to lighten the mood. But again, moderation is key. Use them only when the situation warrants it, and when the humor will be appreciated by those around you.
Those of you who know me know that I am guilty of this, and have been for most of my life. I tend to latch onto a quote or saying and ride it for a long time, often far too long. Therefore I can't judge people who do this. I can only offer the warning that overusing quotes can lead to annoyance and un-funny looks from those around you. And no one wants that.
Q: Brett - Does a rising tide raise all boats?
A: A fine esoteric question. In the literal sense of the words, if a tide is high enough then it will raise all boats, including those under construction on dry land. Of course that would have to be a flood of epic proportions.
The phrase was used by John F. Kennedy in a speech defending the federal funding of the Greers Ferry Dam in Arkansas. The full text of the speech can be found here, and the relevant passage is quoted below:
"These projects produce wealth, they bring industry, they bring jobs, and the wealth they bring brings wealth to other sections of the United States. This State had about 200,000 cars in 1929. It has a million cars now. They weren't built in this State. They were built in Detroit. As this State's income rises, so does the income of Michigan. As the income of Michigan rises, so does the income of the United States. A rising tide lifts all the boats and as Arkansas becomes more prosperous so does the United States and as this section declines so does the United States. So I regard this as an investment by the people of the United States in the United States."
More recently the phrase "A rising tide raises all ships" has been used by advocates of conservative economic policies. The basic idea is that if you encourage economic growth (the "rising tide") then that growth will benefit all Americans ("ships"). I think that this makes sense. If you grow the economy then more jobs are created which means more people can be self-reliant and pursue happiness in their lives.
Q: Nate - Why did we all blow on NES cartridges thinking that would make them work?
A: I know that I blew on the NES cartridges in an effort to get dust out of them. This probably wasn't the real reason why this particular fix worked. My guess is that the moisture in your breath gets onto the metal contacts in the cartridge and makes a connection more likely. I'll also attribute some of this blowing to the placebo effect. We blew on these cartridges, hit the units, powered them off and on, etc., all in an effort to get them to work. When they did finally start working we probably just attributed it to one of these fixes, regardless of whether or not the fix worked.
A random thought concerning this question: If you were to ask a current college student this question would they know what you were talking about? My guess is no. Blowing on an NES cartridge is probably just as anachronistic to a college student today as making mix tapes is.
Q: Kristian - Who is worse, Red Sox fans or Yankee fans? This is assuming you are not a fan of either team.
A: Your assumption is invalid. I am a lifelong fan of the Boston Red Sox. Still, I'll try to be objective in my answer.
Oh who am I kidding? I can't be objective about this. Sorry. I will provide an answer, and at least now you know where I'm coming from when I give it.
Yankee fans are worse (I know, shocking, right?). The biggest problem that I have with Yankee fans is their sense of entitlement. Every season must inevitably lead to another World Championship. Yes, I know that all teams feel this way, but the difference is that most other fans don't expect it as a birthright. As a fan of the Red Sox, I want them to win the World Series. Yankee fans think that they should win the World Series. In fact, the playoffs are just a formality to them. Just crown them champions and let everyone get on with their lives.
Am I painting an accurate picture of Yankee fans? As a biased Red Sox fan I don't know. This is just how I see things. I'm sure that if you ask a Yankee fan they would disagree with my statement. But I don't know of fans of any other team that feel this way. Cubs fans? Royals fans? Angels fans? They all seem to want their team to win, but not expect it. And that's the difference between Yankee fans and other fans.
Are Red Sox fans perfect? Of course not! Red Sox fans are still nursing the bitterness of the fact that the Yankees have many many times more championships than the Red Sox. Despite the two World Series this century they still hold onto a sense of fatality and despair when their team isn't doing well. "The sky is falling" mentality dies hard. This makes us annoying. I know it, I embrace it, and I'm not going to change.
A note about the fans of both teams in general. Any successful franchise is going to attract a certain number of bandwagon jumpers (see also Boston Celtics, Detroit Red Wings, and LA Lakers). In the mid to late 90's the Yankees won a string of championships that brought a huge number of fans to their doorstep. People love to root for a winner, and when your team continues winning then that just makes it better. Then in the early 2000's an interesting thing happened: people started rooting for the "underdog" Red Sox. This culminated in the playoffs of the 2003 and 2004 seasons, and the Red Sox finally winning the World Series in 2004. This, in turn, led to a huge number of recent converts to the Red Sox. "Red Sox Nation" became a rallying cry to beleaguered fans everywhere. I welcome converts, but I also know that they are a fickle bunch who will probably jump right off the bandwagon if another lovable loser comes along.
As of this writing the Yankees have a 7.5 game lead over the Red Sox in the American League East. I am very unhappy about this as a devoted Red Sox fan. However, there's one thing about this development that I find heartening: the return of the "Yankee Fan Swagger". I never thought I'd miss the cocky, arrogant, smug and entitled Yankee fan, but they've been sadly missing for most of this season. Now that they're back I find myself amused at their return because watching their dreams get crushed in the agony of defeat is one of the best things in the world.
Q: Kristian - Why do douchebags pop their collars?
A: This is something I've been wondering for a long time. Generally speaking the following rule applies: Not all douchebags pop their collars, but everyone who pops their collars is a douchebag. Because of this rule I tend to think of the collar popping as a signal to the rest of humanity for purposes of socializing and mating. For example, if a girl were looking to pick up a douchebag in a bar then the popped collar would certainly help her find said douchebag. In fact, she'd probably have her choice of douchebags.
So how did this start? I have no idea, and the Internets aren't particularly helpful. It could be that one douchebag (let's call him Douchebag Alpha) forgot to fix his collar after ironing his shirt. Another douchebag noticed this (Douchebag Beta), said, "Hey, man, that's fly!" and popped his collar to match. Soon it had spread throughout the land of douchebags and became common practice.
Finally, I'll use your question as an excuse to post a link to one of my favorite websites: Hot Chicks With Douchebags.
Q: Jesse - what would happen if I walked up to a girl at the bar and said "you, me, the backseat of my car, now"?
A: I actually thought about trying this out while on my last trip for work. I decided not to, mostly because I am a very shy person, but also because that's just not the kind of guy I am. I do not have any experience picking up girls in bars, and I didn't want my first attempt to be so nakedly direct.
Since I don't know you I can't judge how your proposal would play to the girl in question. Are you normally a smooth guy (ie. Nate D)? Do you have much experience picking up girls in bars? Have you tried other methods in the past?
The type of bar also comes into play. If you were in a sports bar watching a big game, and you and the girl shared an interest in the same team, and that team won, then she might be more willing to take the plunge. On the other hand if the bar were a strip bar and you tried that line on a stripper, you might get lucky, or you might get your ass kicked by Vinny the Bouncer.
In the end there's only one way to find out the answer to this question: you're going to have to try it. Good luck and let me know how it turns out for you.
Q: Jesse - what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
A: Peanut butter is a food spread made from mashed up peanuts mixed with a little salt and sugar. Jam is a spread that is made from fruit juice, bits of fruit, and a gelatin mix. Jelly, by contrast, does not contain bits of fruit in it, only the flavor of the fruit.
Q: Brett - You guys are bad at this.
A: Oh I don't know about that.
Q: Bill - Not just bad...terrible
A: Come on, Bill. Give them a little time.
Q: Matt - Terribad. But on a serious note, I do have a question. Why is it that for most sports, the clock counts DOWN from a certain time (say, 20:00 for hockey) whereas for soccer the clock counts UP to 90:00?
A: Imprecise time management of is one of many things about soccer that bugs me, but it's this imprecision that leads us to the answer to the question. The reason that the clock counts up is that the clock is not stopped for interruptions in the game such as goals, injuries or streakers (the link is safe for work, I assure you). The refs decide how much time is needed to account for those things and simply tacks that time onto the end. For example, if they decide that the game needs to go on for an additional three minutes, then the total time will be 93 minutes rather than -3 minutes.
Also, as Jon Otter correctly pointed out: "The clock counts up to 20:00 in international hockey. You should watch the Olympics more often." I agree on both counts, though I admit that I'd forgotten that tidbit about international hockey.
Q: Matt - Coke or Pepsi?
A: When I still drank sugared sodas on a regular basis I always preferred Pepsi to Coke. I don't know why exactly, but I just liked it better. Pepsi also makes my favorite caffeinated beverage: Mountain Dew. All throughout college it was my energy drink of choice. Before most hockey games I would purchase a large Mt. Dew to fuel my hyperactive drumming in the pep band. Senior year found me spending lots of time in the computer engineering lab, and to sustain myself I would snack on peach rings, KitKat bars and Mt. Dew.
When my sister developed Type 1 diabetes my family started buying diet sodas. She prefers diet Coke to diet Pepsi and so do I. Later on in my life I decided to stop drinking sugared sodas to reduce the amount of calories in my diet and have switched over to diet Coke and diet Mountain Dew.
I don't drink energy drinks on a regular basis since they tend to make my heart skip, but when I do I prefer the Monster Lo-Carb, which is owned and managed by Coca-Cola.
Q: Sam - will you be my friend?
A: The word "friend" has different connotations today than it did even 5 years ago. Thanks to the advent of social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and Jolinko, the word "friend" has come to include casual online acquaintances as well as genuine friends. I know of people who have hundreds of "friends", though I sincerely doubt that they consider all of them friends in the traditional sense of the word. So if you would like to be my "friend" on Jolinko (or Facebook or Twitter) then sure, why not? Maybe if we get to know each other in the online realm then we can create a genuine actual friendship from it. It could happen.
Q: Jesse - why doesn't google maps give me directions from NYC to London anymore, when it used to tell me to swim across the Atlantic?
A: I didn't know that GoogleMaps did that, but I'm not surprised. Google has been a fairly fun-loving bunch over the years. But I guess they wanted to be a little more professional so that little bit of humor had to go. Bummer. I wish I'd seen it.
Q: Bill - I'm sure Otter will have an answer for this one too...The "progressive" setting on my DVD player doesn't seem to change the picture on my tv. From what I recall, analog tv was 240 lines of resolution, DVD was 480, and HD is 1080. So is the DVD player automatically sending 480 through the component cables? Would progressive take it to 960?
A: I don't know exactly what type of DVD player you have, but I suspect that the "progressive" feature of your DVD player will simply switch from interlaced (normal) to progressive scan. A good article explaining this can be found here, but here's a quick version: A DVD player displays at 480 lines of resolution, either interlaced (every other line, switching at a given frequency) or progressive (all lines at once). Your television is an HD set, however, which means a resolution of 720 or 1080 depending on the quality of the set. By default the DVD player won't take up the full screen. If your DVD player is an upconverting one (as I suspect it is) then you have to find the setting that lets you change the resolution to either 720p, 1080i, or 1080p. That will make the DVD take up the full screen and improve the quality of the image for you.
If I've misread your question then please tell me and I'll do my best to answer it next time. Good luck!
Q: Jarsh - I can answer the progressive question too...
A: Perhaps "Ask Jarsh" would be a logical progression for this feature. Or maybe "Ask Jolinko" (or in keeping with the backwardsness, "Ask Okniloj").
Q: Robert - I am looking for a good eye-opener recipe for use on the early leg of certain trips. I'm looking to add Kahlua, and Baileys Irish Cream to Coffee. What proportions should I use?
A: I've never tried adding alcohol to coffee before. I would trust the opinions of fellow Ask Mitssob aficionados with their suggestions. Below are the comments that followed this question:
Eric (Carney): I usually use a shot of each plus a shot of Irish Whiskey.
Sam: i usually go kahlua OR bailey's, and always heavier on the whiskey
Robert: I've had Kalhua and Bailey's in 1:1 proportion by themselves... It was delicious. I just figure it'd be good with coffee too.
Eric (Democko): Carney- that is your coffee recipe for weekdays. what would you add on the weekends?
Eric (Carney): hookers.
Jake: Now THAT is coffee I would drink.
Rani: I thought it's supposed to help get the taste of hookers out of your mouth though on weekends
I must say that I'm proud at how quickly this commentary degenerated into hookers. Where else but Jolinko is such a thing possible? It makes me wish I'd listened to my editor and put this feature out in public sooner. [Ed: I told you, Tim. Why don't you ever listen to me? Because you, like the other voices in my head, are not generally to be trusted.]
The only random thought I might add would be to make a White Russian and pour coffee into it. Of course this might anger the Lebowski Gods, but I'd be willing to risk that for the sake of this answer.
Q: Bill Jeffers - Basement is cold, bedroom is warm. Grok no like.
A: Based on both your statement and the logic of Goldilocks and The Three Bears the first floor of your house must be just right so you should live there until this season passes.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
37 - Answer(s)
Q: Bill Jeffers - ANSWER MY QUESTION ALREADY! Why do we call chicken meat chicken, turkey meat turkey, but we call cow meat beef, pig meat pork, etc. Is it because there are so many different types of cow and pig cut? Or do birds get special treatment in the meat world?
A: To answer this question we must venture back to 1066 and the Norman conquest of England (Wikipedia article here). There are two things that we’re interested in about the invasion. First, the invading Normans spoke Old French and the English spoke Old English. Second, following the invasion a new nobility was formed by the conquering Normans while the English made up the peasant class. Lots of other things are interesting about the conquest, but these two basic facts are all we need to answer the question.
The establishment of these new classes and differences in languages meant that the same animal was now known by two different words depending on where the animal was. The peasants called their livestock in their fields by their Old English names. These can be roughly translated as “cow”, “pig”, “sheep”, etc. The Norman nobles referred to the meat that they were being served at table by the Old French names for the animals the meat came from. Thus, “cow” became “bouef” (beef), pig became “porc” (pork), “sheep” became “moutons” (mutton).
Now what about chicken and turkey? Well they are technically considered another French word, “poultry”. But I suspect that the languages were merged more by then, and that they used the same word on the farm and at the table.
Q: Sarah LaBombard - After just talking to you, word on the street is that you're a big puss.....is this true?
A: I am a big puss. A huge puss, in fact. My puss-itude knows no bounds.
But what is meant by “puss”? Well the main way that I think I’m a puss is my lack of courage in certain situations. For example, I don’t like calling strangers on the phone. I get uncomfortable, nervous, and often sound like a moron. The only way I can avoid this is to rehearse what I’m going to say. Sometimes I go so far as to write out notes before the call so I can keep myself on track.
There are other ways I could get into, but I’ll save them for another time. For now it’s enough to know that yes, I am a big puss.
Q: Karyn Graves - Why is the location of a one game playoff based on a coin toss instead of head-to-head record, or even most runs scored???
A: Every year Major League Baseball flips a coin for every possible tiebreaking game during the runup to the playoffs. This is something that’s escaped my notice, which makes me feel somewhat sheepish.
My first reaction is to agree with you, Karyn. It makes sense that the regular season matchups between the two teams tied for a playoff spot should factor into how that tie gets resolved. Head to head record does seem the most logical thing. The question then becomes did the two teams play each other an equal number of times at each other’s home field. Generally this is true, so it makes sense to use head-to-head matchup to decide such things.
The coin toss adds randomness to the process, which can be said to add fairness. The theory is that it doesn't matter how you did during the regular season when it comes to the playoffs. Why should regular season performance come into play when deciding where a playoff is played? My answer to that question is that regular season performance DOES matter in the playoffs, specifically in the area of seeding. Because of that it stands to reason that regular season matchups should be used in determining playoff location. If and only if there is a tie on that front should they resort to a coin flip.
In closing, I'm very sorry that the Twins lost the coin toss and subsequently the one-game playoff to the White Sox. I was rooting for you. May your luck improve next year.
A: To answer this question we must venture back to 1066 and the Norman conquest of England (Wikipedia article here). There are two things that we’re interested in about the invasion. First, the invading Normans spoke Old French and the English spoke Old English. Second, following the invasion a new nobility was formed by the conquering Normans while the English made up the peasant class. Lots of other things are interesting about the conquest, but these two basic facts are all we need to answer the question.
The establishment of these new classes and differences in languages meant that the same animal was now known by two different words depending on where the animal was. The peasants called their livestock in their fields by their Old English names. These can be roughly translated as “cow”, “pig”, “sheep”, etc. The Norman nobles referred to the meat that they were being served at table by the Old French names for the animals the meat came from. Thus, “cow” became “bouef” (beef), pig became “porc” (pork), “sheep” became “moutons” (mutton).
Now what about chicken and turkey? Well they are technically considered another French word, “poultry”. But I suspect that the languages were merged more by then, and that they used the same word on the farm and at the table.
Q: Sarah LaBombard - After just talking to you, word on the street is that you're a big puss.....is this true?
A: I am a big puss. A huge puss, in fact. My puss-itude knows no bounds.
But what is meant by “puss”? Well the main way that I think I’m a puss is my lack of courage in certain situations. For example, I don’t like calling strangers on the phone. I get uncomfortable, nervous, and often sound like a moron. The only way I can avoid this is to rehearse what I’m going to say. Sometimes I go so far as to write out notes before the call so I can keep myself on track.
There are other ways I could get into, but I’ll save them for another time. For now it’s enough to know that yes, I am a big puss.
Q: Karyn Graves - Why is the location of a one game playoff based on a coin toss instead of head-to-head record, or even most runs scored???
A: Every year Major League Baseball flips a coin for every possible tiebreaking game during the runup to the playoffs. This is something that’s escaped my notice, which makes me feel somewhat sheepish.
My first reaction is to agree with you, Karyn. It makes sense that the regular season matchups between the two teams tied for a playoff spot should factor into how that tie gets resolved. Head to head record does seem the most logical thing. The question then becomes did the two teams play each other an equal number of times at each other’s home field. Generally this is true, so it makes sense to use head-to-head matchup to decide such things.
The coin toss adds randomness to the process, which can be said to add fairness. The theory is that it doesn't matter how you did during the regular season when it comes to the playoffs. Why should regular season performance come into play when deciding where a playoff is played? My answer to that question is that regular season performance DOES matter in the playoffs, specifically in the area of seeding. Because of that it stands to reason that regular season matchups should be used in determining playoff location. If and only if there is a tie on that front should they resort to a coin flip.
In closing, I'm very sorry that the Twins lost the coin toss and subsequently the one-game playoff to the White Sox. I was rooting for you. May your luck improve next year.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
36 - Answer(s)
Q: Eric Democko - will the bills make the superbowl this year?
A: No.
Wait, let me think about this for a minute.
No.
And not just because I don’t like the Bills. They have a pretty easy schedule for the rest of the season (@ Rams, @ Cardinals, BYE, Chargers, @ Dolphins, Jets, @ Pats, Browns, @ Chiefs, 49ers, Dolphins, @ Jets, @ Broncos, Pats). I can find at least 6 wins in that list, and that’s more than enough for them to make the playoffs. But when you match the Bills against any other team likely to make the playoffs from the AFC (Jags, Colts, Pats just to name three) I’m not confident the Bills can prevail.
Of course I’ve been wrong before. But not about this.
Q: Karyn Graves - Which ballparks have the home team dugout along 3rd base instead of first and why? And is there an advantage of some kind?
A: Below is a list to answer the first part of this question. The "1" or a "3" next to the team name indicates the baseline of the home team.
Arizona Diamondbacks - 3
Atlanta Braves - 1
Baltimore Orioles - 1
Boston Red Sox - 1
Chicago Cubs - 3
Chicago White Sox - 3
Cincinnati Reds - 1
Cleveland Indians - 3
Colorado Rockies - 1
Detroit Tigers - 3
Florida Marlins - 1
Houston Astros - 1
Kansas City Royals - 1
Los Angeles Angels - 3
Los Angeles Dodgers - 3
Milwaukee Brewers - 1
Minnesota Twins - 3
New York Mets - 1
New York Yankees - 1
Oakland A's - 3
Philadelphia Phillies - 1
Pittsburgh Pirates - 3
San Diego Padres - 1
San Francisco Giants - 3
Seattle Mariners - 1
St. Louis Cardinals - 1
Tampa Bay Rays - 1
Texas Rangers - 1
Toronto Blue Jays - 3
Washington Nationals - 1
I’m less certain about why teams choose to have their dugouts where they do. It could be that they just picked the one that they liked the best. Maybe it’s connected to the nicer of the two clubhouses. I don’t really know. You can make the case for both sides, but I suspect that it just comes down to tradition for that particular team. The only advantage I could see would be environmental. The home team might prefer the dugout that is not facing into the sun. But I don’t think that’s a problem in any major league ballpark.
So in short I have no idea why teams choose to have their dugouts on the first or third base lines. Sorry I can’t shed more light.
Q: Adam Barnello - What are your thoughts about the Lebowski Sequel that's in the works? Does it worry you as much as it does me?
A: I had not heard that there is a Lebowski sequel in the works. My thoughts on the Lebowski franchise (assuming that there is a franchise) in general are mixed. Put simply, I just don’t get the movie. There are movies that are weird and strange that I enjoy. But Lebowski isn’t one of them. I’ve seen it, I laughed, but I don’t GET it. Maybe I haven’t ever watched it under the right conditions (read: drunk), and thus am missing out on some of the genius of the movie. Maybe I will eventually understand the nuances. But not today.
So to answer the second part of your question, no, it doesn’t worry me as much as it does you. I’m not as big a fan of the franchise as you are. Therefore I don’t care about it as much as you. But I hope all of your fears are unfounded and that the sequel lives up to all the dude-ness that it could be.
Q: Nicole Maloney - Maybe Mitssob knows the answer: How can I get Emerson (3months) to take a bottle?!?! I've tried everything I've read. help! (ok, not really expecting an answer here... but if you had one, I'm all ears)
A: Again with the baby questions! I find it amusing that all you parents out there are allowing me to potentially screw up your kids by asking me questions about them. But keep asking, if for no other reason than it gives me something to look back on if/when I become a parent so I can laugh at how ignorant I was.
I’ve spent a little time formulating (HA) my thoughts on this question, but unfortunately I’ve come up with more questions than answers. All I can hope is that my ramblings will help you out. Right at the start I need to disclose that this question has caused me to speculate about not only your breasts but also your breast milk. If that weirds you out then I’m sorry. In addition we’re going to shatter the record for the number of times the word “breast” is used in an answer. I’m trying to be mature about this, but I make no promises.
As I see it the challenge is to get the kid to understand that food can come from two places: your breasts and a bottle. So my first question for you is what are you putting in the bottle? [Ed: What do you expect, Tim? Beer? No, this isn’t Bill’s kid we’re talking about here.] Are you trying to get Emerson to drink formula or breast milk? That might make a difference. Do children know what milk tastes like? I’m not sure, but I can believe it’s possible. Therefore you’d want to make the experiences to be as similar as possible, so if you haven’t tried putting breast milk in the bottle then give that a try.
As to the more practical question of how to get the child to take the bottle, if you’re willing to be a little cruel then you could simply force the issue by denying him your breast. Hunger would eventually force the kid to take the bottle. At least in theory. Would I do this to my own kid (assuming for the moment that I could breastfeed)? No, after a few minutes of crying I’d feel pity and give in. Plus I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work.
Your question sparked a tangential question in my head: Why isn’t there a bottle that’s the size/shape/feel of a breast? It seems like a natural thing to have. Putting aside the obvious weirdness of how it would look (not to mention all the things that it would be used for by college students all over the country), wouldn’t a child be more likely to take a bottle that’s of a familiar size/shape/feel? Just thinking out loud here.
Mothers in the Jolinko community are invited to correct me on this question in the comments. Good luck, Nicole! And once more for good measure: “breast”.
Q: Jarsh Beckstein - Where in the world is Mitt Ssob?
A: Mitssob is currently in Rochester, NY, though that has been the exception rather than the rule since February when I took on new job responsibilities at work. My job now calls for me to travel around the country, meet with customers and potential customers, and provide engineering support for integration efforts. In English, I build small radio networks so that our sales guys can make sales and so that our engineers can gather test data. It's a lot of fun, if slightly chaotic at times.
Below is a partial list of the places I’ve been for this new line of work:
Paso Robles, CA (3 hours south of San Francisco)
Ridgecrest, CA (3 hours northeast of LA)
Kileen, TX (Fort Hood)
Fayetteville, NC (Fort Bragg)
Fort Walton Beach, FL
Eatontown, NJ (Fort Monmouth)
Baltimore, MD
San Diego, CA
As you can see I’ve been racking up the frequent flier miles and rental and hotel points. It’s been fun to be on the road. I’ve gotten to meet a lot of very interesting people, both in the military and in the Harris organization (sales and field service guys). I usually also have time to wander around and see some sights, and also eat some good local food.
Soon to be added to this list is Canberra, Australia (an hour flight from Sydney). I’m leaving on October 3 and returning October 11. I’ll provide full details of the trip once I get back, but I do want to share one interesting thing about the flight over there. I depart San Francisco on October 3 at about 7pm local time and land at 7:30am local time on October 5. By a quirk of the International Date Line I will not experience October 4. It’s very strange to think about. I hope nothing exciting happens on that date, because I won’t be around for it! I make up for it on the return trip, though. I depart from Sydney on October 11 at about 3:30pm and land in San Francisco at 8:30pm local time. I’m spending 14 hours in the air, but only 5 hours pass. All told I get to experience October 11 for about 34 hours, making it the longest day of my life.
So that's where Mitssob has been. I'll keep you all posted as to my movements as I make them.
A: No.
Wait, let me think about this for a minute.
No.
And not just because I don’t like the Bills. They have a pretty easy schedule for the rest of the season (@ Rams, @ Cardinals, BYE, Chargers, @ Dolphins, Jets, @ Pats, Browns, @ Chiefs, 49ers, Dolphins, @ Jets, @ Broncos, Pats). I can find at least 6 wins in that list, and that’s more than enough for them to make the playoffs. But when you match the Bills against any other team likely to make the playoffs from the AFC (Jags, Colts, Pats just to name three) I’m not confident the Bills can prevail.
Of course I’ve been wrong before. But not about this.
Q: Karyn Graves - Which ballparks have the home team dugout along 3rd base instead of first and why? And is there an advantage of some kind?
A: Below is a list to answer the first part of this question. The "1" or a "3" next to the team name indicates the baseline of the home team.
Arizona Diamondbacks - 3
Atlanta Braves - 1
Baltimore Orioles - 1
Boston Red Sox - 1
Chicago Cubs - 3
Chicago White Sox - 3
Cincinnati Reds - 1
Cleveland Indians - 3
Colorado Rockies - 1
Detroit Tigers - 3
Florida Marlins - 1
Houston Astros - 1
Kansas City Royals - 1
Los Angeles Angels - 3
Los Angeles Dodgers - 3
Milwaukee Brewers - 1
Minnesota Twins - 3
New York Mets - 1
New York Yankees - 1
Oakland A's - 3
Philadelphia Phillies - 1
Pittsburgh Pirates - 3
San Diego Padres - 1
San Francisco Giants - 3
Seattle Mariners - 1
St. Louis Cardinals - 1
Tampa Bay Rays - 1
Texas Rangers - 1
Toronto Blue Jays - 3
Washington Nationals - 1
I’m less certain about why teams choose to have their dugouts where they do. It could be that they just picked the one that they liked the best. Maybe it’s connected to the nicer of the two clubhouses. I don’t really know. You can make the case for both sides, but I suspect that it just comes down to tradition for that particular team. The only advantage I could see would be environmental. The home team might prefer the dugout that is not facing into the sun. But I don’t think that’s a problem in any major league ballpark.
So in short I have no idea why teams choose to have their dugouts on the first or third base lines. Sorry I can’t shed more light.
Q: Adam Barnello - What are your thoughts about the Lebowski Sequel that's in the works? Does it worry you as much as it does me?
A: I had not heard that there is a Lebowski sequel in the works. My thoughts on the Lebowski franchise (assuming that there is a franchise) in general are mixed. Put simply, I just don’t get the movie. There are movies that are weird and strange that I enjoy. But Lebowski isn’t one of them. I’ve seen it, I laughed, but I don’t GET it. Maybe I haven’t ever watched it under the right conditions (read: drunk), and thus am missing out on some of the genius of the movie. Maybe I will eventually understand the nuances. But not today.
So to answer the second part of your question, no, it doesn’t worry me as much as it does you. I’m not as big a fan of the franchise as you are. Therefore I don’t care about it as much as you. But I hope all of your fears are unfounded and that the sequel lives up to all the dude-ness that it could be.
Q: Nicole Maloney - Maybe Mitssob knows the answer: How can I get Emerson (3months) to take a bottle?!?! I've tried everything I've read. help! (ok, not really expecting an answer here... but if you had one, I'm all ears)
A: Again with the baby questions! I find it amusing that all you parents out there are allowing me to potentially screw up your kids by asking me questions about them. But keep asking, if for no other reason than it gives me something to look back on if/when I become a parent so I can laugh at how ignorant I was.
I’ve spent a little time formulating (HA) my thoughts on this question, but unfortunately I’ve come up with more questions than answers. All I can hope is that my ramblings will help you out. Right at the start I need to disclose that this question has caused me to speculate about not only your breasts but also your breast milk. If that weirds you out then I’m sorry. In addition we’re going to shatter the record for the number of times the word “breast” is used in an answer. I’m trying to be mature about this, but I make no promises.
As I see it the challenge is to get the kid to understand that food can come from two places: your breasts and a bottle. So my first question for you is what are you putting in the bottle? [Ed: What do you expect, Tim? Beer? No, this isn’t Bill’s kid we’re talking about here.] Are you trying to get Emerson to drink formula or breast milk? That might make a difference. Do children know what milk tastes like? I’m not sure, but I can believe it’s possible. Therefore you’d want to make the experiences to be as similar as possible, so if you haven’t tried putting breast milk in the bottle then give that a try.
As to the more practical question of how to get the child to take the bottle, if you’re willing to be a little cruel then you could simply force the issue by denying him your breast. Hunger would eventually force the kid to take the bottle. At least in theory. Would I do this to my own kid (assuming for the moment that I could breastfeed)? No, after a few minutes of crying I’d feel pity and give in. Plus I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work.
Your question sparked a tangential question in my head: Why isn’t there a bottle that’s the size/shape/feel of a breast? It seems like a natural thing to have. Putting aside the obvious weirdness of how it would look (not to mention all the things that it would be used for by college students all over the country), wouldn’t a child be more likely to take a bottle that’s of a familiar size/shape/feel? Just thinking out loud here.
Mothers in the Jolinko community are invited to correct me on this question in the comments. Good luck, Nicole! And once more for good measure: “breast”.
Q: Jarsh Beckstein - Where in the world is Mitt Ssob?
A: Mitssob is currently in Rochester, NY, though that has been the exception rather than the rule since February when I took on new job responsibilities at work. My job now calls for me to travel around the country, meet with customers and potential customers, and provide engineering support for integration efforts. In English, I build small radio networks so that our sales guys can make sales and so that our engineers can gather test data. It's a lot of fun, if slightly chaotic at times.
Below is a partial list of the places I’ve been for this new line of work:
Paso Robles, CA (3 hours south of San Francisco)
Ridgecrest, CA (3 hours northeast of LA)
Kileen, TX (Fort Hood)
Fayetteville, NC (Fort Bragg)
Fort Walton Beach, FL
Eatontown, NJ (Fort Monmouth)
Baltimore, MD
San Diego, CA
As you can see I’ve been racking up the frequent flier miles and rental and hotel points. It’s been fun to be on the road. I’ve gotten to meet a lot of very interesting people, both in the military and in the Harris organization (sales and field service guys). I usually also have time to wander around and see some sights, and also eat some good local food.
Soon to be added to this list is Canberra, Australia (an hour flight from Sydney). I’m leaving on October 3 and returning October 11. I’ll provide full details of the trip once I get back, but I do want to share one interesting thing about the flight over there. I depart San Francisco on October 3 at about 7pm local time and land at 7:30am local time on October 5. By a quirk of the International Date Line I will not experience October 4. It’s very strange to think about. I hope nothing exciting happens on that date, because I won’t be around for it! I make up for it on the return trip, though. I depart from Sydney on October 11 at about 3:30pm and land in San Francisco at 8:30pm local time. I’m spending 14 hours in the air, but only 5 hours pass. All told I get to experience October 11 for about 34 hours, making it the longest day of my life.
So that's where Mitssob has been. I'll keep you all posted as to my movements as I make them.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
12 - Answer(s)
Q: Brett Gobe - How do you measure yourself against other golfers?
A: Chevy Chase would answer this question with, "By height." I am a much more infrequent golfer than he (I've played three times in the past four years), but I'll give the same answer since it gives me a greater chance of victory than if I played golf straight-up against other golfers.
Q: Bill Jeffers - Will the Yankees ever win it all again?
A: My initial answer is "I hope not." As a fan of the Boston Red Sox since childhood, I have a nearly genetic predisposition to hating the NY Yankees. Therefore I hope that their six-year trend of failure in the postseason continues into the next century. But even I must admit that yes they will win it all again. I personally think that it'll take another two or three years of failure before they accept the fact that trying to buy the best players and placing them on the field together does NOT a team make. Of course, they could always purchase every other team in major league baseball and win by default, but that's pushing even my Yankee-hating boundaries.
Q: Eric Carney - You have Box and you have Wine. Two of my most favorite things united in what can only be described as a monumental achievement of the late 20th century. There's no question here I justed wanted to say I love Boxed Wine.
A: That was Eric Carney, former Pep Band President. He was damned glad to meet you.
Q: Adam Barnello - What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
A: First, I would get up from the comfortable couch on which I am typing these words. I would then put on my coat, leave my apartment, get into my car and drive to Wegmans. Once at Wegmans I would find the frozen dessert section and get a package of Klondike bars. I would then exchange cash for said Klondike bars at a checkout register and leave the store. I would then have the Klondike bars, and could do with them whatever I wished. Fling them at passing motorists, rub them in my hair, or even consume them with a nice glass of milk. Whatever came into my head.
Q (repeat): Nicole Maloney - What kind of music was played at weddings before the 70's came along?
A: I asked around about this question, and everyone I asked had pretty much the same two answers as me: either the popular music of the day, or the music that the bride and groom request. This makes sense. The wedding reception will reflect the tastes of the bride and groom, and therefore the music played at the reception will mirror those tastes. All things being equal, popular music of the day is probably the most common music played at weddings in all times. Some couples may choose to have something different, such as a string quartet, a jazz band, or even a carribian steel band. It's really up to the bride and groom (which means the bride).
A: Chevy Chase would answer this question with, "By height." I am a much more infrequent golfer than he (I've played three times in the past four years), but I'll give the same answer since it gives me a greater chance of victory than if I played golf straight-up against other golfers.
Q: Bill Jeffers - Will the Yankees ever win it all again?
A: My initial answer is "I hope not." As a fan of the Boston Red Sox since childhood, I have a nearly genetic predisposition to hating the NY Yankees. Therefore I hope that their six-year trend of failure in the postseason continues into the next century. But even I must admit that yes they will win it all again. I personally think that it'll take another two or three years of failure before they accept the fact that trying to buy the best players and placing them on the field together does NOT a team make. Of course, they could always purchase every other team in major league baseball and win by default, but that's pushing even my Yankee-hating boundaries.
Q: Eric Carney - You have Box and you have Wine. Two of my most favorite things united in what can only be described as a monumental achievement of the late 20th century. There's no question here I justed wanted to say I love Boxed Wine.
A: That was Eric Carney, former Pep Band President. He was damned glad to meet you.
Q: Adam Barnello - What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
A: First, I would get up from the comfortable couch on which I am typing these words. I would then put on my coat, leave my apartment, get into my car and drive to Wegmans. Once at Wegmans I would find the frozen dessert section and get a package of Klondike bars. I would then exchange cash for said Klondike bars at a checkout register and leave the store. I would then have the Klondike bars, and could do with them whatever I wished. Fling them at passing motorists, rub them in my hair, or even consume them with a nice glass of milk. Whatever came into my head.
Q (repeat): Nicole Maloney - What kind of music was played at weddings before the 70's came along?
A: I asked around about this question, and everyone I asked had pretty much the same two answers as me: either the popular music of the day, or the music that the bride and groom request. This makes sense. The wedding reception will reflect the tastes of the bride and groom, and therefore the music played at the reception will mirror those tastes. All things being equal, popular music of the day is probably the most common music played at weddings in all times. Some couples may choose to have something different, such as a string quartet, a jazz band, or even a carribian steel band. It's really up to the bride and groom (which means the bride).
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