Sunday, September 28, 2008

36 - Answer(s)

Q: Eric Democko - will the bills make the superbowl this year?
A: No.

Wait, let me think about this for a minute.

No.

And not just because I don’t like the Bills. They have a pretty easy schedule for the rest of the season (@ Rams, @ Cardinals, BYE, Chargers, @ Dolphins, Jets, @ Pats, Browns, @ Chiefs, 49ers, Dolphins, @ Jets, @ Broncos, Pats). I can find at least 6 wins in that list, and that’s more than enough for them to make the playoffs. But when you match the Bills against any other team likely to make the playoffs from the AFC (Jags, Colts, Pats just to name three) I’m not confident the Bills can prevail.

Of course I’ve been wrong before. But not about this.

Q: Karyn Graves - Which ballparks have the home team dugout along 3rd base instead of first and why? And is there an advantage of some kind?
A: Below is a list to answer the first part of this question. The "1" or a "3" next to the team name indicates the baseline of the home team.

Arizona Diamondbacks - 3
Atlanta Braves - 1
Baltimore Orioles - 1
Boston Red Sox - 1
Chicago Cubs - 3
Chicago White Sox - 3
Cincinnati Reds - 1
Cleveland Indians - 3
Colorado Rockies - 1
Detroit Tigers - 3
Florida Marlins - 1
Houston Astros - 1
Kansas City Royals - 1
Los Angeles Angels - 3
Los Angeles Dodgers - 3
Milwaukee Brewers - 1
Minnesota Twins - 3
New York Mets - 1
New York Yankees - 1
Oakland A's - 3
Philadelphia Phillies - 1
Pittsburgh Pirates - 3
San Diego Padres - 1
San Francisco Giants - 3
Seattle Mariners - 1
St. Louis Cardinals - 1
Tampa Bay Rays - 1
Texas Rangers - 1
Toronto Blue Jays - 3
Washington Nationals - 1

I’m less certain about why teams choose to have their dugouts where they do. It could be that they just picked the one that they liked the best. Maybe it’s connected to the nicer of the two clubhouses. I don’t really know. You can make the case for both sides, but I suspect that it just comes down to tradition for that particular team. The only advantage I could see would be environmental. The home team might prefer the dugout that is not facing into the sun. But I don’t think that’s a problem in any major league ballpark.

So in short I have no idea why teams choose to have their dugouts on the first or third base lines. Sorry I can’t shed more light.

Q: Adam Barnello - What are your thoughts about the Lebowski Sequel that's in the works? Does it worry you as much as it does me?
A: I had not heard that there is a Lebowski sequel in the works. My thoughts on the Lebowski franchise (assuming that there is a franchise) in general are mixed. Put simply, I just don’t get the movie. There are movies that are weird and strange that I enjoy. But Lebowski isn’t one of them. I’ve seen it, I laughed, but I don’t GET it. Maybe I haven’t ever watched it under the right conditions (read: drunk), and thus am missing out on some of the genius of the movie. Maybe I will eventually understand the nuances. But not today.

So to answer the second part of your question, no, it doesn’t worry me as much as it does you. I’m not as big a fan of the franchise as you are. Therefore I don’t care about it as much as you. But I hope all of your fears are unfounded and that the sequel lives up to all the dude-ness that it could be.

Q: Nicole Maloney - Maybe Mitssob knows the answer: How can I get Emerson (3months) to take a bottle?!?! I've tried everything I've read. help! (ok, not really expecting an answer here... but if you had one, I'm all ears)
A: Again with the baby questions! I find it amusing that all you parents out there are allowing me to potentially screw up your kids by asking me questions about them. But keep asking, if for no other reason than it gives me something to look back on if/when I become a parent so I can laugh at how ignorant I was.

I’ve spent a little time formulating (HA) my thoughts on this question, but unfortunately I’ve come up with more questions than answers. All I can hope is that my ramblings will help you out. Right at the start I need to disclose that this question has caused me to speculate about not only your breasts but also your breast milk. If that weirds you out then I’m sorry. In addition we’re going to shatter the record for the number of times the word “breast” is used in an answer. I’m trying to be mature about this, but I make no promises.

As I see it the challenge is to get the kid to understand that food can come from two places: your breasts and a bottle. So my first question for you is what are you putting in the bottle? [Ed: What do you expect, Tim? Beer? No, this isn’t Bill’s kid we’re talking about here.] Are you trying to get Emerson to drink formula or breast milk? That might make a difference. Do children know what milk tastes like? I’m not sure, but I can believe it’s possible. Therefore you’d want to make the experiences to be as similar as possible, so if you haven’t tried putting breast milk in the bottle then give that a try.

As to the more practical question of how to get the child to take the bottle, if you’re willing to be a little cruel then you could simply force the issue by denying him your breast. Hunger would eventually force the kid to take the bottle. At least in theory. Would I do this to my own kid (assuming for the moment that I could breastfeed)? No, after a few minutes of crying I’d feel pity and give in. Plus I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work.

Your question sparked a tangential question in my head: Why isn’t there a bottle that’s the size/shape/feel of a breast? It seems like a natural thing to have. Putting aside the obvious weirdness of how it would look (not to mention all the things that it would be used for by college students all over the country), wouldn’t a child be more likely to take a bottle that’s of a familiar size/shape/feel? Just thinking out loud here.

Mothers in the Jolinko community are invited to correct me on this question in the comments. Good luck, Nicole! And once more for good measure: “breast”.

Q: Jarsh Beckstein - Where in the world is Mitt Ssob?
A: Mitssob is currently in Rochester, NY, though that has been the exception rather than the rule since February when I took on new job responsibilities at work. My job now calls for me to travel around the country, meet with customers and potential customers, and provide engineering support for integration efforts. In English, I build small radio networks so that our sales guys can make sales and so that our engineers can gather test data. It's a lot of fun, if slightly chaotic at times.

Below is a partial list of the places I’ve been for this new line of work:

Paso Robles, CA (3 hours south of San Francisco)
Ridgecrest, CA (3 hours northeast of LA)
Kileen, TX (Fort Hood)
Fayetteville, NC (Fort Bragg)
Fort Walton Beach, FL
Eatontown, NJ (Fort Monmouth)
Baltimore, MD
San Diego, CA

As you can see I’ve been racking up the frequent flier miles and rental and hotel points. It’s been fun to be on the road. I’ve gotten to meet a lot of very interesting people, both in the military and in the Harris organization (sales and field service guys). I usually also have time to wander around and see some sights, and also eat some good local food.

Soon to be added to this list is Canberra, Australia (an hour flight from Sydney). I’m leaving on October 3 and returning October 11. I’ll provide full details of the trip once I get back, but I do want to share one interesting thing about the flight over there. I depart San Francisco on October 3 at about 7pm local time and land at 7:30am local time on October 5. By a quirk of the International Date Line I will not experience October 4. It’s very strange to think about. I hope nothing exciting happens on that date, because I won’t be around for it! I make up for it on the return trip, though. I depart from Sydney on October 11 at about 3:30pm and land in San Francisco at 8:30pm local time. I’m spending 14 hours in the air, but only 5 hours pass. All told I get to experience October 11 for about 34 hours, making it the longest day of my life.

So that's where Mitssob has been. I'll keep you all posted as to my movements as I make them.